Leseprobe: Kulturverein Vienna Lit. (Hrsg.): "vienna:views"

aus Anti-American Me von Bond Benton

Dear Mr. Schüssel,

You have no idea the difficulty I went through to type an "ü" on an American keyboard. Oh sure, I know that I am entitled to type "ue" and that basically means the same as an "ü", but I think we both know what you would be thinking if I had only typed "ue": Hmmm ... typical American ... he's such an imperialist that he can only be bothered to type an 'ue' ... any person with an ounce of cultural sensitivity would certainly have typed an 'ü' since that is clearly my name." To which I would have responded that you, Mr. Schüssel, should show some compassion - I am just an outsider doing the best that I can whether I am spelling names with "ue" or "ü" or even (GASP!) "u." Yes, it may shock you to know that quite a few Americans would probably just spell your name Schussel, not even taking the time to learn about the entire "ue"/"ü" situation. I think that says something about me and how much I care.

And your reaction to me is precisely the problem I am writing you about: ANTI-AMERICANISM. Since you are the supervisor of Austria, I thought that writing a customer service response like this might help in getting something done. I'm not optimistic, since I know that Austrians don't believe in customer service. Yes, I know that customer service is yet another capitalist conspiracy created by the Evil Empire over the Atlantic. But I would politely ask you to put away your hatred and prejudice for a moment and listen to my point of view objectively.

In making careful observations, I have found out that I am the victim of exactly 7.23 incidents of defined Anti-Americanism on an average day in Vienna. Don't try to comfort yourself by suggesting that is some sort of arbitrary number that I just made up. It is based on careful observation. [...]

(S. 55 f)

© 2006, Luftschacht Verlag, Wien.