Al Bruno III's Internet Tomfoolery

Saturday, February 3, 2018

THE BINDER OF SHAME - totally true made up gaming stories

The RPG.net Rants

Uncensored, Unforgettable and Uncorrected

2002 was the year I first started to post stories for the amusement of others. (Aside from that shameful X-FILES fan fiction of course.) I began with these gaming anecdotes that I shared on the forums of RPG.net, a relatively safe haven for me at the time. They were strange little tales told in a kind of screenplay format that I used when I sketched out story dialogue.

The first one was pretty simple but as they went on they became more and more grandiose but they were raw and fun little bits of humor. I never bothered to proofread the things or set up any real kind of coherence or internal continuity- although snippets of these tales do show up in PRICE BEAKS AND HEARTACHES.

I'm posting them to the blog so I can add them to version of THE BINDER OF SHAME I keep here. I will do the first two today and then set up one a week until they're all there.

I've moved on a lot since I first created them but many of the folks that first came to know me through them are still reading my work now and they still keep finding new readers all the time.

If you have no idea what I am talking about prepare to be amazed, amused and offended.

And be warned these stories appear exactly as I did when I posted them on the forums. I haven't tried to edit them for fear of diluting their raw power.

Also I'm pretty damn lazy...

1.) The Team That Couldn't Shoot Straight

2.) The day I killed the entire party before the first combat encounter

3.) A Night At The Inn, A Day At The Racists

4.) The God Trip

5.) Achy Breaky Mythos

6.) Monty Python Mishaps In The Deepest Pit Of Homebrew Hell

7.) Kobayashi Maru With Random Violence and Supermodels

8.) What Do You Mean You Lost My Wife's Kidney?

9.) Never Leave Your Nads Behind

10.) Death By Thumbs

11) Night Of The Caped Cadavers

12.) Cannibals, Rednecks And Transgendered Astronauts

13.) Trapped In Jedi Academy

14.) Reservoir Torgs

15.) The Wrong Room In Ryleh

16.) The Great Gamma World Death March

17.) The Bad Rifts Project

18.) The D&D Session That Mostly Wasn't

19.) The Prequel Trilogy I: The Creep On The Boarderlands

20.) The Prequel Trilogy II: The Dead Guy Gets The Pizzas

21.) The Prequel Trilogy III: All Hands On Dec

22.) The Last Straw Trilogy Part One: Warhammer The Spoilers Generation

23.) The Last Straw Trilogy Part Two: Talisman- This Time Its Personal

24.) The Last Straw Trilogy Part Three: Once More With Filking

25.) Vampire The Mass Kid Raid: A postscript

The Binder of Shame

The Second Edition

1.) The Dammed Treasure of Lord deGreasy
2.) Crisis On Infinite Jerks
3.) With A Pinch Of Assault
4.) The Good, The Bad And The Feces

Thursday, July 13, 2017

GOFUNDME - "I fought the law and the law was pretty exasperated with me."

Ness is getting stronger and stronger, she is good enough to travel and will be heading out to spend some time with her sister soon.

In other misadventures I got pulled over last night because I had forgotten to renew my car's registration... well I keep forgetting to renew it. I'd gotten two warnings from John Q Law already so there is no one to blame but myself on that one. I just kept getting sidetracked and forgetting.

Why is it I only remember I forgot these things when there is a police car in my line of sight?

Ah well,

I am still cringing at the thought of next week's paycheck, I have tried to make up for days I was out with no sick or vacation time by working some OT but just in case I'd like to ask if you can help me deal with a few stray hospital bills (I owe the ER around $400) and keep gas in the car.

But if you can't that is also totally cool. You folks have done so much for us already.

Ness says 'Hi' BTW.

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Thursday, July 6, 2017

GOFUNDME good news and bad news...

The good news is that the blood clot is gone from my wife's lung and aside from one little emergency room scare that turned out to just be dehydration brought on by her Crohn's/Colitis that was easily addressed.

The bad news is that all this missed time from work to help Ness has eaten away at my sick time, vacation time and personal time. As a result this week's paycheck was frighteningly small.

So, much as it pains me I have to come to you folks hat in hand one more time but if there is anything you can do please help.

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Wednesday, June 28, 2017

GOFUNDME update...

We got Ness home last Tuesday. She was ok, but weak but she started having breathing pain.

So this Tuesday we stopped by her regular doctor, he checked some things and then promptly called EMS to take her back to the hospital.

Turns out she developed a pulmonary embolism during her pervious stay, so now she is back going to be in the hospital until Friday at least.

If this were a story I would have stopped believing it two ambulances ago.

As always any help you can give would be appreciated.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Meanwhile in the real world...

Some updates, Ness is home but weaker than she expected, Getting in and out of chairs requires use of a walker for now. Good thing we already had one thanks to Ralph (the septuagenarian we have been caring for the last four years or so).

An in home physical therapist will be coming to see Vanessa soon so we can work towards getting her well and truly back on her feet again.

Oh, and just to show it never rains but it pours during all this one of our cats died.

June 2017 has been one bad cookie. As always, any help you can send our way would be appreciated, it looks like we may need a raised seat for the commode. Not the kind of financial expenditure I planned on!

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