The Fine Line Between Being Conscious and Self Harm

by Padme

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1.
Crossing the Line 03:06
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In this system where hunger and modern slavery is forcibly inherited, we must not forget that the responsibilities of the privileged must be inherited as well. The act of solidarity, in this world full of prejudice, is not a grant which someone hands out to the -quote unquote- “lesser”, but it is a must. Especially in this era; where racists, fascists, lgbti phobics, governments and multinationals are louder, more impertinent and more relentless. We must not forget: now more than ever, we are liable to help every friend and every companion who feels desperate and powerless against this ruthless machine. It is time to stick together. It is time to stand our ground with full awareness of ourselves. It is time to rediscover who we are, and what we are up against EVERY SINGLE DAY. Like yesterday, and like tomorrow, it is the time to act. Today, is the day. You don't have a right on my body, You don't have a say on my soul, And I can't believe people still have to tell you those. Day by day I'm running out of wit, Every second I have to hear shit-coated shit. While forcibly being under this ongoing tradition. So, now, it's impossible for me to define The thin line between being conscious and self harm. When democracy is a base for nepotism, As reciprocation just words won’t be enough. When a whole country is a huge sweatshop, It doesn't matter who is more wrong. When you think about this total madness It’s clear that it’s partially our own fault, But will it stop you from acting with a smile? Last time I was singing about tragedies, But I realized I still have a lot to come. Because I don't have a soul to spare, And you won't take me dead or alive! Even if you hurt me, I’m aware of the thickness of this line Between being conscious and self harm. Representative democracy is nepotism, As reciprocation just words are not enough. Among Vans and DocMartens fanboys, It doesn't matter who is more wrong.
2.
Death to Denham’s Dentifrice 02:28
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When the songs regain their meanings, Will I again have the strength to run? This came to my mind when I was feeling That everyday I was getting more numb. I can’t name if its kind of a therapy or a trauma, And don’t know if I should take pride. Don’t know if i’m turning more dazed, Or if my sense of smell is gone? Is it all my fault? Even if its, It’s okay to have regrets, or else how would you be the person who you are today? Will you let yourself breathe? My feet aren’t touching the ground again While I am trying to decide If all of these are happening for a cause, Or will I drown under this tide? But no! I’m sure that you won’t take me Your guns won’t be enough. Without a cell big enough to hold my spirit, Where will you run and hide, When my chains break & rot? I know it is, Wearying to be yourself with a genocide on our streets, But we all should learn from the still clenched fists buried underneath. What’s a life to live if there is nothing that you can die for? What’s the point of fear if they took your home? What’s a life to give when there is nothing left to live for? How can you run from your own? Somehow you proved myself to me again, That I will never be done. Maybe not born of, but raised by you as a taboo, I don’t owe shit to no one! Yeah I’m free, like I’ll always be, Fierce, potent and consciously. The parvenu middle class and the bourgeoisie, We’re fueled by hopes and dreams. But your militias run with money. But it all has an end, Like our lives. But I have pride in that I wont die in vain. Because I didn’t and won’t let any god to put a name in my pain. What’s a life to live if there is nothing that you can die for? What’s the point of fear if they took your home? What’s a life to give when there is nothing left to live for? How far can you run from your Own light which shines upon, The tombs of Abdul Halik Hazara and Bresci.
3.
End of the World 01:41
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We've came for finish Roads slick slippery Rip it off the machines And chill out a little bit Do says monkey Should donkey obey? Evolutive ideologies don't have to be true, why? Point of view, well alters a lot World rolls in its pace sure not give a far mind Steal cheat repeat, yeah that's what you do Turn around the trigger and give pull for you too Once upon a time There is a cold ass flower Beholds all the animals And shifts are only sun Two legged dropped by For give a sniff yet No human can ever Squeeze its breeze Mountains moved So the earth has divided Gulp down the rivers Gaze into the sky A flying feather wont Give you freedom and a Cold ass flower Shouldn't be dismembered BIRDS CAN'T TALK BY THEMSELVES Killing it will never do any good Exchanging why do you've already got Senseless blind little casualties Doing nothing much in return but harm Crashes reality within it Wondering couldn't it be extended What remains is only one more drop We'll possess as long as we exist FINISH IT FINISH IT FINISH IT FINISH IT
4.
Can't Catch Me 02:23
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In one of these days When the gods needs a praise Even though I have no money or faith They may run over me But you can't catch me Already told you that I have no money Searching your own way In a sphere in dismay How old were you when they got you in the head? Well It's not over for me So you can't catch me, Others can break, but I'm no easy Sincerety has gone, guns loaded, aimed at your face (before dawn) Oh where is allah when I god awful need it? Can't you see the hell we're living in? Other fees may apply, cost of life has divided by weeks (and months) So you can pay in peace from your shallow grave, where everybody can really crave We're running in circles Til death do us apart Laughing at life while crying at night Sometimes it's hard, and Sometimes it's dark It's easy to rhyme but not so to fight Will death be my friend? Or life lend me a hand? Am I senile or am I depressed? Well It's not over for us So we can try again! I believe in happiness, I believe in my friends Sincerety has gone, guns loaded, aimed at your face (before dawn) Oh where is allah when I god awful need it? Can't you see the hell we're living in? Other fees may apply, cost of life has divided by weeks (and months) So you can pay in peace from your shallow grave, where everybody can really crave I see them coming back to me, I hear them calling me Chasing my tail, hugging my leg, hanging from my sleeve Kill me whenever, lock me forever I'll always be free My soul's for me, not sold for money So you can't catch me
5.
17 03:43
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Ben onyedimde değildim Daha önce fark ettim Her kulağın duymadığını. Gözlerim her gün kanardı, Ama bir o kadar da karaydı, Güneşin içine içine bakarken. Bana beni satmaya çalışanlar nerde kaldı? Gözlerim beynimin içine yol aldı. Bana doğrunu göstersen, Sana bir güzel siktir çeksem, Yarına hazır olacak mısın? Biz sadece yarını değil, şimdiyi de istiyoruz. Kimsenin eline değil, gökyüzüne bakıyoruz. Yokuşlar olmasa manzaralar da olmazdı. Bugün hoş gördüklerimiz Yarın meşrulaştıracaktır Bize yapacaklarınızı. Dört duvarım varken beşi yıkıldı, Yıldızların ne önemi kaldı Güneş beynimin içini eritirken? Bana seni satmaya çalışanlar nerde kaldı? Alnının akı bağırsaklarından mı taştı? Bana kim olduğumu söylesen, Sana bir güzel siktir çeksem, Yarına hazır olacak mısın? Biz sadece yarını değil, şimdiyi de istiyoruz. Kimsenin eline değil, gökyüzüne bakıyoruz. Biz sadece yarını değil, şimdiyi de alıyoruz. Kimsenin eline değil, gökyüzüne bakıyoruz. Zaman durmaz, her sabah yeniden doğmam gerek, Yeniden doğmak içinse her gün ölmek. Zaman durmaz, her sabah yeniden doğmam gerek, Yeniden doğmak için de her gün ölmek, Çok zor.
6.
Whose Decision Is It to Make? 02:15
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Not sure if I suffer enough, To rise against what’s killing me. Or I’m just not alive enough, To feel the bullets piercing in. My eyes are numb, My legs are number, But I feel, I’m not make believe. And your hymns, Carved in our heads, Still comply to the souls, you’re trying to heave. Wounds I have will surely heal, (But) The sight of your scars will still kill. Your cries echo in my skull, Your gunshots are under my skin. My eyes are numb, My legs are number, But I feel, I’m not make believe. And your hymns, Carved in our heads, Still comply to the souls, you’re trying to heave. When the graves and cells are full of hope, Their every murder is a genocide. Maybe we spend too much time thinking, About who’s gonna be left alive? But whose decision is it to make? Is it yours or the worlds they atrociously created? Did it ever occur to you that you rule your own world? Don’t you know that it’s our time? We’ll say it again, Did it ever occur to you that you rule your own world? Don’t you know that it’s our time? My eyes are numb, My legs are number, But I feel, I’m not made believe. And your hymns, Carved in our heads, Still comply to the souls, you’re trying to heave.
7.
B.Y.B.Ş.Y 01:31
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Bugün yapcak bir şeyim yoktu, ben de yürüdüm. 6 saat çok boştu, ben de yürüdüm. Şimdiki telefonlar benden akıllı, Nerde olduğumu bilirler ben kaybolmuşken. Sırt çantam yükümden daha hafif, Ama beni görenler üzülürler, çantamı karıştırırlarken.
8.
Clash 01:10
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Nothing is real Just mere fantasy How about kicking Endless hypocrisy Crying out loud See what makes a human being It's just starting And I've got so much to say Got bored of being alive With something to left behind Is that the point of living Which any of this remains When there is no one tell Hungry big pockets never lie Waiting in line to pay you fine With kind heart and a smile of warmth All you've gotta do is cut your arm So that was the case all along Simple extraction of everything Considering he will be the king Why not it slicks and gets gibberish Like a flying pigeon on the sky Shitting right into your eye Got bored of being alive
9.
Eğitimin Önemi 02:32
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Ormanda bir bașıma Oturmuș düşünüyorum Şu ağacın altında Ben nerdeyim, ben nerdeyim Ama bana kimse cevap vermiyor Bir iki üç dört Eğitim önemli Beş altı yedi sekiz Biz adamı çiki çiki Dokuz dokuz Bu akşam evde yokuz Köpek koşuyor Ve kedi miyavlıyor Kuş kanatlarını açmış Gökyüzünde süzülüyor Kafamı yana çevirdim ve Polis bana bakıyor Copunu havaya kaldırmış Koş koş bağırıyor Koşayım koşayım Polis amca koşayım Nereye gitsem aynı durum Söyle bana n'apayım Buralar hep dutlukmuș Diyor atalarımız Nasıl aynasız doldu Yine polis şamarı Bir iki üç dört Eğitim önemli Beş altı yedi sekiz Biz adamı çiki çiki Dokuz dokuz Bu akşam evde yokuz
10.
BiZ İsTeYeReK Mi YaPıYoRuZ saNki? 02:15
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Duruyorum yine, bu akşam Ekrana bakmıyorum en azından, Ama duvarlarda gözüm kalmış. Bakıyorum yine, bulutlara Yıldızlar hep onların arkasında, Binalar benim baş ucumda. Devlet meseleleri beni aşar, Aynaya ne zaman baksam yolum şaşar, Beynim kadar küçük dünyamda Saatler hep durmuş Beni bilen kaybolmuş Saatler hep durmuş Beni soran kaybolmuş Uzanıyorum yine, yatağımda Yapıştım kaldım çarşafıma, Çünkü yastığım benden sıkılmış. Biliyorum yine kalkamıycam, Günler geçiyor aklımın ucundan, Hiç ben bile geçmezken. Devlet meseleleri beni aşar, Aynaya ne zaman baksam yolum şaşar, Beynim kadar küçük dünyamda Saatler hep durmuş Beni bilen kaybolmuş Saatler hep durmuş Beni soran kaybolmuş
11.
My Feet Hurt 02:28
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I don’t wanna clean any table, I just wanna go home to sleep, tonight Well I was feeling a bit off today. If you look into my eyes again You can see that I’m in decay. But a spark of hope is on its way. You can tell me that things will be worse, But it doesn’t really matter to me, Because I was never meant to be. The bones you throw will be bit, By a dog that you’ve never bet, That it knew how to fly your jets. I don’t wanna feel like I’m rising from death When I’m dying. I don’t wanna catch bullets for your self consciousness. Time flies when they stick their fingers in my eyes. But when I’m crying, I got no tear left to spare to them. You can say that I’ll be blamed, But it really doesn’t matter to me, I’m not searching for a secondhand dignity. I don’t care about who I am, This place doesn’t matter to me, These flags don’t fly for me. I don’t wanna feel like I’m rising from death When I’m dying. I don’t wanna catch bullets for your self consciousness. Time flies when they stick their fingers in my eyes. But when I’m crying, I got no tear left to spare to them.
12.
Apathy 03:42
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Bulletproof as I was Still shaking from the headshot Staring at the ceiling Concussed and I'm pinned down Beating my own mascot Feel like warm beer in a cold spot Violent commentaries Try to keep me locked up As cold as stainless steel but I think my rust still shows As I let my cruel imagination take the wheel Nothing will really hurt when everything's a joke Well I'm afraid I already know how that one goes It doesn't make me laugh Sneaking out the backyard Cruising up around town Voices all familiar Echoing all around Ran into an old friend The train of thought that i lost Told me he'd been waiting Then ran me into the asphalt As cold as stainless steel but I think my rust still shows As I let my cruel imagination take the wheel Nothing will really hurt when everything's a joke Well I'm afraid I already know how that one goes It doesn't make me laugh

credits

released May 27, 2020

Arda Turan: Bass Guitar/Vocals
Toprak: Guitars/Vocals/Keys
Orhan: Drums/Vocals
Ozan Noiz: Guitars/Backing Vocals

Trumpets in "Apathy": Bilal Çark

Recorded at: Street Music Studio, Tel Aviv (Neta Gofen)
Mixed and Mastered by Mike Mulet and Jamie McMann

Album Cover Art: Noiz

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Padme Istanbul, Turkey

fast & melodic punk rock from Istanbul, Turkey.

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